Dodgy Aprons & Secret Handshakes: The Wild World of Fake Freemasonry

 A History of Questionable Masonic Lodges (Now Featuring P2!)

The Art of Masonic Impersonation

Since Freemasonry’s rise in the 17th and 18th centuries, it has attracted a fair number of opportunists—people who, rather than waiting for recognition, simply decided to declare themselves Masons. These unofficial, clandestine, and outright fraudulent lodges took secrecy to new extremes, sometimes indulging in bizarre rituals, sometimes playing political puppet masters, and occasionally just existing to make a quick profit.

From rogue lodges inventing degrees on a whim to Italy’s infamous Propaganda Due (P2) scheming behind closed doors, the history of Masonic mischief is as strange as it is entertaining.

The 18th Century: The Age of Improvisation

As legitimate Masonic lodges flourished across Britain, Europe and the American colonies, a parallel tradition emerged—the "DIY Lodge" movement. All one really needed was a dimly lit room, some mystical-sounding titles, and a few dramatic speeches to convince unsuspecting initiates that they were entering a world of ancient wisdom.

Highlights of the Era:

• The Phantom Lodge of Prague—a mysterious group claiming descent from medieval Templars, though its main activity seemed to be drinking absurd amounts of beer and making up Latin phrases on the spot.
• The Hermetic Order of the Burning Key—which offered enlightenment through a ritual that involved sitting in absolute darkness for hours, while someone outside banged pots and recited cryptic phrases about "inner fire."

Despite their dubious credentials, many of these groups thrived, attracting aristocrats and intellectuals desperate for an exclusive club.

The 19th Century: Rogue Lodges and Revolutionary Ideals

The 1800s were a time of great revolutions—political, industrial, and, of course, Masonic mischief. Across Europe, lodges that ignored regular Masonic oversight continued to pop up, some playing serious political roles, others embracing fringe philosophies that regular Freemasonry would rather not acknowledge.

Notable Rogue Lodges:

• The Grand Lodge of Unconfirmed Observers (Paris)—a group so secretive that no one was entirely sure who was actually in charge. Their claim to fame? Allegedly possessing Solomon’s Lost Book of Wisdom, though critics noted it was suspiciously written in modern French.
• The Supreme and Perpetual Order of Cosmic Builders (New York)—this "Masonic-inspired fraternity" sold titles like "Grand Architect of the Universe" for the price of a steak dinner, a model later perfected by less reputable secret societies.
• The Order of the Golden Pyramid (London)—a lodge that insisted its members had mystical ties to Ancient Egypt, though their rituals mostly involved very uncomfortable headdresses and dramatic readings from a poor translation of the Book of the Dead.

While regular Grand Lodges largely ignored these groups, their influence sometimes bled into political movements—inspiring conspiracy theories that persist to this day.

The 20th Century: The Age of Corporate Conspiracies

By the 20th century, Masonic lodges were well-established institutions. However, clandestine groups didn’t vanish—they just adapted, some evolving into full-fledged political machines. This is where we meet Propaganda Due (P2), the infamous lodge that turned secrecy into a national scandal.

Propaganda Due: When a Lodge Became a Shadow Government

Founded in 1877, P2 originally functioned as a legitimate lodge under the Grand Orient of Italy. But by the 1970s, under the leadership of Licio Gelli, it had transformed into something far more sinister—a clandestine network accused of political corruption, financial scandals, and even attempted coups.

What Did P2 Actually Do?

• Political Manipulation – Members allegedly influenced laws, suppressed trade unions, and plotted government takeovers.
• Financial Scandals – P2 was deeply tied to Banco Ambrosiano, a Vatican-linked bank that collapsed under mysterious circumstances, leading to the mysterious death of its chairman, Roberto Calvi (found hanging under London’s Blackfriars Bridge in 1982).
• International Intrigue – P2 reportedly had connections with the CIA, Operation Gladio (a covert anti-communist initiative), and even South American dictatorships.

When authorities finally exposed its membership list in 1981, the revelation shook Italy to its core—leading to the resignation of a Prime Minister and the eventual dissolution of P2. However, the lodge’s legacy of secrecy, power, and political manoeuvring remains one of the most fascinating episodes in Masonic history.

Modern Day: A Warning for Aspiring Freemasons

With all these tales of clandestine mischief, it’s worth issuing a warning to those considering Freemasonry:

🔹 If you want to become a Freemason, make sure you are joining a regular lodge that is recognised by the United Grand Lodge of England (UGLE), the Grand Lodge of Scotland, or other legitimate Masonic bodies.

🔹 Beware of fake lodges, especially those that claim "ancient secrets" that mainstream Freemasonry ignores, demand large sums of money upfront, or promise instant enlightenment (spoiler: real Freemasonry requires patience and commitment).

🔹 If in doubt, check with a recognised Masonic Grand Lodge before taking the plunge—lest you end up in a lodge that turns out to be more theatrical performance than actual fraternity.

Whether it’s ambitious schemers, wannabe mystics, or groups with too much time on their hands, the clandestine lodge remains an enduring curiosity in the world of Freemasonry.

And if history is any guide, the next great Masonic impostor is probably already plotting, somewhere in a dimly lit room, wearing an overly dramatic robe, and explaining the mystical significance of sandwich geometry.